FOR SALE: 1954 Chevy 3100 5-Window Pickup “Classic farm truck? Nah, this is a barn find that built a gym in the barn and never skipped leg day.” SPECIFICATIONS (a.k.a. The Recipe for Trouble): • 5.3L Chevy LS Engine with Twin 70mm Turbos – Enough power to barbecue tires and scare wildlife. • 6L90 Transmission – Shifts faster than your excuses when your wife asks why you bought this. • Ford 9” Rear End with 4-Link Suspension – Built to handle power, potholes, and bad decisions. WHO IS THIS TRUCK FOR? • People who think speed limits are “friendly suggestions.” • Folks who want to look like they’re driving to a farmer’s market but are really headed to gap Mustangs. • Anyone tired of their neighbor’s 2022 Silverado hogging all the attention. BONUS FEATURES: • Turbo spool so loud, it doubles as a marriage test. • Rear-end so sturdy, it could bench-press your buddy’s lifted Jeep. • Guaranteed to leave grown men at stoplights crying into their overpriced coffee. FAQ: • “Can it haul?” Yes, it can haul ass. • “Does it get good gas mileage?” Not a chance. • “Why are you selling it?” To avoid jail time. Price: $49,995 Contact: Sales at The Ranch Harley-Davidson (979-690-1669) This truck will make you cooler, faster, and poorer all at once. Don’t think—just buy it.
